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Smoke
Smokers
Smoking
And of course liars.
Sooo...when i told you that i didn't like those specific things (not being a long list to remember or anything) you decide to go and smoke anyways and then not only smoke once but twice... nice.. real nice.
Have to give you credit for telling the truth about smoking but to ask "oh would you be mad if i told you i was smoking"..really?
Hm... so this is when the script is going to flip a little... just know that i'm not sure how i feel right now.
- Mood:unsure.
- Music:gym class heroes
Friday night went to the beach at night for the first time.
Then went to see Stephen.
Then my parents went out so Stephen came over.
Saturday I went to an Anti-Domestic Violence walk and performed a pantomime.
Then got my hair done.
Then went on a limo ride to south beach, then Dave & Buster's then The Hard Rock.
Sunday I went to the Carnival Parade.
Then my mom let me drive by my self for the first time legally to do an errand for her.
Then I watch Animation Domination.
This weekend contained no homework what's so ever which was like the cherry
on a Sunday which was my weekend.
Even though I got like negative sleep this weekend it was enjoyable.
I'ma sleep early tonight tho lol.
not school
not family
not friends
ive (for lack of a better word) have just been living
that's it
with no concerns or regaurds for consequesnece
i mean dont get me wrong i have gotten my self a bit of trouble ever now and again but
nothing majorly life changing
i mean my phone broke in several different ways
and THAT enough ive been pretty apathetic about
havent even concerned my parents about a new one
yo i just mentioned to my mom how i didnt even wana take the psat
just cuz it was 13 bucks i didnt have
and shes all like but thats your future blah blah blah
if i hear more shit bout my future i swear- but i digress
yo tonights the first night i had MAD homework and im LJin my happy ass instead
thats how freaking apathetic i am
when i got home i wasnt even going to do it at all im like f this shit does all this really matter
do i need to go to college and shiz
am i that smart
man...
right now is all i think about
the right here
and right now
and all i wana do i jam to kid cudi
thats that shit right there
yo and it really grinds my gears when my moms tells me when to eat
like you really gotta control everything in my life as to tell me
when im hungry
yo....seriously?
and my moms keep stressin my hair
yo i like it bushy chill stop tryna tame it
i aint stressin nothing in my life
but usually when im sick for a long time
im subconciously stressin
so i needa figure out about what it is
i am indeed stressin
esrjhgkesdjrgfkdjtf
i guess this is a post of small revalations after others.
meh.
I just know that I can't stop.
Take chances
Laugh hard
Live life to the fullest
Learn from your mistakes
Forgive and forget
Play with your inner child
Run in the rain
Have fun
Be ridiculous
Do something crazy
Fall in love
Walk around with your head held high
Open up your mind
Close your hatred matrix
Talk to strangers
Look at the world in a new way
Listen to nature
Wash your worries away
Watch time fly
Clean your mind from negative thoughts
Smile more often
Stop and smell the roses
Cry only when laughter induced
Try something new
Eat something strange
Speak your mind
Make daring choices
Give to those who need
Say what you mean to say.
...you get the point. :] <3
- Mood:
:D
-The people that invited us for the wedding (my dads sister Delcee or something) didn't have us on the list for the reception; Flew over for the wedding and wasn't even allowed inside of the reception- nice.
-Accidently stole Uncle's hat.
-Other Aunt Merylin is having beef with Delcee because she wasn't even invited to said wedding and they live on the same island.
-Brother JJ got Celion pregnant. Celion's mom goes way back with my Aunt Merylin. Celion is over stressed and was emitted to a hospital in a chance the baby was going to miscarryed.
-Dad is on me like ants at a picnic about pregnency when it's my brother that he should be talking to.
-Dad's god son in nabraska goes to jail for the win.
-JJ get's eye damaged on the job and doesn't file for an on the job incicent report and let's his eye get maddly infected.
that's all i can remember from my trip but there was something new every flippin day and I'm just glad to be back in miami where it's not over 100 degrees everyday and i have A.C.
since i've been back i realized my phone stopped working as soon as i texted
"I'm on the plane now and if I don't make it I wanted you to know that I love you." to someone because my plane was having alot of technical issues before even leaving the gate. Obviously I made it but the thing is I don't know if he texted me back or not because while on my trip i didn't get any calls or messages which is pretty lame. Scared to just text him about it asking what he responded to said text or if he did at all or if he even recived it-- yet life is so short. eh.
Tomorrow i'm going to the library (how fun) to finnaly get my summer reading book.
I'm starting to wish I took school more seriously-- which i find odd seeing how its summer. Steve and Max just seem to have the college thing down pack as for me I failed the freakin FCAT and still don't know what I wana do with my life. I know waiting till the last min to jump into something I don't care for isn't the wisest thing to do but I have a feeling that I'm going to end up like that. My parents are so confident that I'm not only going to college; I'm going to a big ol' fancy college out of state. Gah.
I still don't have a job and now I have zero moneys to even get around to look for a job.
11:11
one. i wish i didn't have to worry about college stuff ever ever ever.
two. i wish i didn't have to worry about pregnancy shit for a long long time.
three. i wish my phone recovered all the missed text's over the past week.
four. i wish i was more serious about school.
five. i wish i had a solid family with a mommy and a daddy; not a mommy a daddy i never see and a step daddy that makes me feel bad.
six. i still wish i didn't miss him so much.
seven.
eight. i wish i had some strawberrycheesecake icecream to indluge in right now when chocolate chip is my favorite.
nine. i wish life wasn't so complicated.
ten. i wish to go with the flow of things.
eleven. i wish that all of your wishes come true.
<3ms
- Location:Your Closet
- Mood: calm
- Music:My Ceiling Fan
WHELP, update since last week:
- Haven't gone job hunting since last post.
- LEAST favorite uncle stole my car battery (still in question about it's location.)
- Haven't built up the nerve.
- My sleeping patterns have gotten ridiculous (4am-2pm)
- Miss the drama kids desperately.
- Feels like I've been living out of my room...(moar like a prisoner.)
- Failed at reading. (level 2.)
- Had a really cool father's day at the uncle's spot.
- Missed my last chance to see practically the whole troupe.
- Before I know it the 'o9 drama alumni will be leaving left and right.
- Been thinking heavily on how life is short and how the best things are done on a whim...
-Tonight: Hopefully sleep before 4.30...
-Tuesday: Go job hunting damnit.
-Wednesday: Get hair done. // start packing.
-Thursday: Moar job hunting damnit. // "Mmm burger." // Laundry. // Moar packing.
-Friday: Last minute packing // "On the plan we go" // Sister is off to college.
-Saturday: "Starts of new beginnings." // Mentor is off to college.
-Sunday: Officially in the islands.
-Monday: Attending Aunt's wedding.
~To be continued...~
- Mood:contemplation.
- Music:Survive - Gabrielle
Still on lock down kinda sorta.
Haven't seen any drama kid since June 4th and it seems to be killing me on the insideee.
I've been doing a hella lotta chores just so I can attend THE JUMP OFF BABY.
There is a 51% chance of my attendence.
I've cleaned my room part by part alot. Lookin good if I dont say myself. Even though I cleared my computer desk and it's messed up already lol.
Umm... I've been memorizeing random words and what not... in sign.
I've gone Job hunting almost everyday since my last post and have gotten disappointed on so many levels.
...BUT MY HOPE HAS NOT DIED!
Going to look for some more hot spots in my area for a job, but tomorrow will be my refractory period before hitting up the emplyment world.
And yeah... just liked the idea of a weekly update of my gastly summer.
I miss my freaking drama kids! Gahh
Cons:
- Didn't go to Julio's.
- Rain.
- Had $9.20 to pay for an overdue book.
- Library didn't have the book I needed.
- Can't go to Pascale's.
- Miss THE Drama Kids.
- Was blocked by a Drama Kid on Twitter.
- On lock down for the rest of the summer.
- Miss him
already. - Needa learn how to make a resume.
- Lack of money.
- Sister bonding time.
- PS2 gaming time.
- Entertaining baby cousin.
- Set up pool.
- Rain smell.
- Going to see about a job tomorrow.
- Ice cream.
- Tv time?
Hopefully...
With any hope...
"It's the first day of the month. If you could have one wish come true this month, what would it be? "
So Amber can't just have one wish... So here's an accumulated list (not in any specific order) :
- To be able to see every drama member every day of this month.
- To stay in contact with every senior once they have departed...
- To have an adventure everyday i leave my house.
- To have
morefreedom. - To get a job.
- To finish my car.
- To HAVE a summer.
- To not miss him too much...
- To have peace at mind by closing one chapter before starting a new..
- To finally live life to it's true fullest.
<3msjz.
- Mood:
=/
-Lot of elephants in rooms.
-I've been sick since January.
-I think I failed my Spanish quiz.
-I have an imflamed lymph node.
-It hurts when i swallow my own spit...
-My stomach is death defyingly acheing
-States was overally cool for my first year.
-I have more time to type this than i anticipated.
-...How many weeks untill the seniors leave? =/
-I'm currently in my PE class. Not skipping at all.
-Enjoys not skipping and still being able to loung.
-Antibotics smell like pee, but don't make my pee smell.
-I'm understanding things in my math class again, SUCESS!
-He keeps making my day with the little things he does in a special way.
-I think i did fairly well on my Chem test considering that I didn't study at all.
-Knowing that he cared that I went to the hospital sorta made me feel like someone.
-My coach is taking alot more time to get back in the portable than I would have guessed.
-Starting to wonder why LJ isn't blocked at school but everything else is. Not a complaint tho.
-Was planning on going home early today but decided to chill with my girls afterschool instead.
- Location:Portable.
- Mood: =P
I feel like posting more nonsence! :D
I don't really have anything to say or post about just yeahhh~
I'm not extremely happy-- nor extremely sad.
I'm extreme nutural... to the EXTREME!
My week has been me trapped in my house which aint the beezkneez
We got a new washer and dryer! Scine I'm the only one that does laundry i guess it was like a gift to me?? Idk XP
Umm I'm looking forward to tomorrow, get to get out of the house and well it's kinda important lol.
I wana go beaching thursday pero... well i don't see it happening.
My knee hurts... the wound has opended up again so i peroxided it.
I thank im getting my hair did saturday, several hours in a hot enclosed area... yay.
I haven't noticed how much the TV replays the same episode of shows, pretty feezy.
He if i make a lot of typos on this it just kinda stops trying to correct me! xD
Sooo about this Isidor thang, i neva really knew him but i knew people who knew him so i guess it's weird.
I so wanted this week to be epicccc~
I still can't figure out how to do the cool dolphins thing to my laptop like El Jush-o and i dont wana bother em
I've been eating junk like no bodys business! Would'nt be suprised if i gained a few ya know
I kinda cleared off my comp. desk! found ALL of my states recieipts! Lol
WHELP! I guess that's about it, I'll keep posting the more and more bored i get brah =P
- Location:Your Room
- Mood:
"/
THIS IS SOME BULL SHIT!
He doesn't fucking know how fucking important this is to me!
HE JUST WANTS TO FUCKING LAY IN BED
WTF!!
I told him about it yesterday!!!
I DONT WANA HEAR SHIT
And my mom's not even in town and when i call her all i get is lip and more bull shit FUCKKKKKK MAN
now i can't fucking go to states
this is some grade A motherfucking bull shit. I cant go becuase my STEPdad doesn't wana get out of bed and ruin his nap.
Fuck this shit
________________________________________
okay... so I had to cry and beg and plead but my dad gave me the money and i am indeed going to states. :]
- Mood:
pissed off
Up side:
- Today is Even.
- Drama All day.
- Open Mic Afterschool.
- Farquhar's gana beast.
- I feel like being a major bitch.
- Tomorrow is odd.
- I'm immune to the only medicine in my house.
- I'm ashamed of myself.
- I make the same mistakes over and over again.
- I strongly dislike ignorant African American males.
- My mind is shutoff.
- My stomach hurts.
- I have a head ache.
- I need a drink of water.
- I'm still phone less which doesn't help anyone especially me.
- I'm doomed to an eternity of loneliness.
-Billybobilly might be gay... which is both shocking and expected.
Shocking because he doesn't have "Gaydiation" and expected because it figures Amber sure knows how to pick em... eh
When life gives you lemons make roast beef. - Location:Drama Room
Change shall come in the near future. For the better. For the greater cause.
"If I knew before what I know now" ; "Lost in translation"
My little sister was playing on the PS2 in my living room with Max. I was eating cake in the kitchen. I asked Max something about the PS2 system. Then Max said something to the extent of "If anything I'll build you a birdhouse." Then the door bell rang and when I went outside it looked like it just rained and Mallory was there outside of the gate with braces and her hair up to the side. My dad was at the front door with my little cousin TJ. Mallory ran in the gate yelling something like "Ohhh! Look a park!" Then ran past me. Then I woke up.
Yeah it wasn't like a deep dream, just found it to be weird.
I give up. I officially give up.
Fack it.
I can't not stop being weird; I can't not stop being a drama kid.
I'm tired of failing.
Fack it.
- Location:Facking Fack's street.
- My head hurts often due to the number of thoughts that go through it per min.
- I'm often sleepy.
- Things don't turn out as planned... ever.
- Drama has bitten off more than it can chew. (Club wise)
- I look forward to the little things in my day.
- He is complicated, I am complicated, the situation is complicated. Life is complex ; but it's not that serious.
- I fail at "To-Do" listing.
- Soy muy solo.
- I picked the number nine because I happen to have 9 tabs on my desk.
- Mood:
Geting sick?
My day was an odd roller-coaster... literally.
it started off pretty good - had a sub first block
got better – earned an A on my 2nd block test
didn't go to my 3rd block - thumbs up
had fun at lunch - pandemonium.
Didn’t go to my 4th block – eh.
got intelligentcated- smith learning
..and then i got hit by a bomb shell from, what felt like, no where.
and smith could see something was wrong with me as soon as it happen
i swear i didn't know i was so easy to read.
Gah and the bad part is that I have no clue how to approach the situation
It’s like, “do I apply heat or cold?” , “do I take the bullet out or leave it in?”
Part of me wants to pretend like nothings happening
But the other part knows that not going to fly.
I locked my bag in the drama room – thumbs down
After school I went to Mcdonalds – thumbs up
Then picked up to go to Arby’s – thumbs up
Went back to school and played “Kill Marry Sex” – thumbs up
Got a ride from Adriana – thumbs up
Cracked up with Adriana, Melissa AND there mom the whole ride – two thumbs up
Made my own mother laugh by being myself around her for once – four thumbs up.
- Mood:
Huh? - Music:"Kid Nothing Boy Vs. The Echo Factor" - Gym Class Heroes.
Perhaps not knowing is best for the soul ; Ignorance is bliss.
I'll just leave it alone. Whelp phase one once again is a gogo.
- Mood: Whelp.
- Music:Youth Of The Nation - POD
